Kandi’s commenting on the stressful dynamics of being in a girl group amid the ongoing drama surrounding the 90s R&B quartet she’s in.
The songstress/Real Housewife of Atlanta was a recent guest on the Small Doses with Amanda Seales podcast and she dished on all things Xscape including their origin story and current situation that’s airing on television.
According to Kandi who appeared on Seales’ “Side Effects of Girl Group Dynamics” episode, she’s grown exponentially since joining Xscape when she was in high school and she’s proud of the progress they’ve made.
She agreed with Seales however that the group compromised of herself, Tiny Harris, Tamika Scott, and LaTocha Scott should probably talk to a professional to get on the same page.
Kandi admitted that she doesn’t go to therapy and, at first, was hesitant to see Seales’ point that it’s necessary.
“It’s not as easy as you make it,” said Kandi. “As a group? No [we haven’t gone to therapy.] “
According to Kandi, she had a triggering therapy session between her and Mama Joyce that turned her off from counseling.
“I did try to do therapy once with my mom,” said Kandi. “And then she started cussing me out and stopped talking to me for two weeks. It didn’t work, she didn’t want to go back.”
After some coaxing from Seales however, Kandi considered the host’s point that “all Black people need therapy” because of the trauma that we carry in our DNA.
“That’s our problem, we have these arguments, we have these fights and we just brush things under the rug to just do the show or get the show done,” said Kandi about Xscape. “That’s where the therapy would’ve helped, right?”
Still, Kandi said that therapy won’t always fix certain situations.
“When I know that you’ve done something wrong to me, I shouldn’t have to deal with you anymore,” said Kandi on Small Doses with Amanda Seales. “I don’t give a damn about the therapy. Certain things—especially when the other person doesn’t own it, it’s hard to discuss, it’s hard to get past.”
Later in the conversation, she also spoke about women letting men interfere with a girl group’s business and cautioned against it. Her comments come in the wake of her saying on SWV & Xscape: The Queens of R&B that someone’s husband/manager was their “brain.”
“Don’t let men get in the middle of the business, said Kandi on Small Doses with Amanda Seales. “I don’t think nobody’s man should be managing anything in the group. Nobody’s significant other should be in the group’s business because they got you thinking that you’re better than the rest of the group, they’re thinking for self, themselves, and you, maybe.”
“That’s it, [mostly] their selves though,” she added. “It’s definitely a conflict of interest so I personally would say stay away from that.”
Seales then added a caveat to the conversation and noted that a relationship could infringe upon business responsibilities and Kandi agreed.
“They may start getting all lovey-dovey with somebody and they drop everything they’re supposed to be doing. That is so annoying, said Kandi. ” I tell women that in business, period. You gotta be about your bag the same way men are about their bag.”
That is so anonoying to me in any business, we gotta be just as much about our bag and our money as they do.
See more highlights from Kandi’s appearance on Small Doses with Amanda Seales on the flip.